by Tom Coombe
(980 words)
Hey, Krafts by Kristen readers. It’s been awhile, huh? I had a boatload of fun summer projects I wanted to share, but sometimes real life kicks the door in and wrecks our plans.
Thank you all so much for the kind words in your cards and letters. I won’t lie, it’s been a difficult summer. No, even that’s a lie. It’s been a summer in hell. Still, I’m ready to soldier on as we move into a new season. My favorite season. The days are getting shorter, kids are back in school and there’s a crispness in the air.
That’s right, autumn is here, and today we’re going to talk about one of my favorite pieces of fall decor: the scarecrow. Whether you’re trying to keep pesky animals out of your garden or want to decorate for Hallowe’en, a scarecrow is a great way to give your yard a spooky/rustic vibe.
To get started, you’ll need scissors, a hammer and nails, an old shirt, pants and boots, twine, the bones of a nightbird, three six-foot wooden stakes, a sleeping bag, a pillowcase, and some dried grass or straw. From there, you can put your scarecrow together in a few easy steps.
Step 1: Build the frame
Slide one of the two stakes through the sleeves of the shirt to act as your horizontal support. Lay this stake atop a second so they form a cross, then hammer them together. Hold onto the third stake for later. Place the vertical support into the ground, making sure your scarecrow is facing the direction you want. Try to do this in your backyard, as it affords more privacy. Take note: if the shirt you’re using still smells like…him, you might find yourself frozen in your yard for the better part of an hour, reflecting on what you’ve lost.
Step 2: Building the body
Tie off the sleeves and the bottom of the shirt with twine before stuffing it with straw or dried grass. Fill the shirt with enough stuffing to give your scarecrow a proper shape. Use two more lengths of twine to tie off the pant legs before stuffing them with straw. You’ll need to do this before you attach the legs to the torso. You can attach pieces of twine to the belt loop of the pants to create some makeshift suspenders to connect the bottoms and top halves of the scarecrow.
Step 3: The bones
Wait until the sun sets and place the bird bones inside the shirt. I used the bones from a whippoorwill I found behind our garage, but any nightbird will do. Please refer to my April 2018 blog post on building your own bird traps for more tips. Give the scarecrow’s torso a gentle shake so the bones filter down into the stuffing.
Using your scissors, carve a triangle into the palm of your left hand. The pattern must be a scalene triangle (in case you’ve forgotten grade school geometry, that’s a triangle with three unequal sides). Whatever you do, do not carve an isosceles triangle (two sides of equal length).
Making a tight fist, hold your hand over the neck hole of the shirt and let seven drops of blood drip into the stuffing. You must use exactly seven drops.
Step 4: The head
Fill the pillowcase with straw/dried grass to make your scarecrow’s head. Tie off the opening of the pillowcase with twine, and then attach it to the top of the vertical stake. Some guides suggest drawing a funny/spooky face on your scarecrow, but I do not recommend this. Draw a simple circle instead. You’ll understand why later. After you’ve attached the head, make sure you go back inside before the sun comes up. Remain indoors for the rest of the day, no matter what you see or hear happening in your backyard.
Step 5: Living with your scarecrow
Once the sun sets, step out into the night to visit your scarecrow. He will likely have a lot of questions. (“Mom, what am I doing here?” and “Mom, what happened? What is this?”) He might be confused or scared, but don’t worry: he’s not cold or in any pain. Let him know this is only temporary, as scarecrows aren’t designed to last forever.
This is where your sleeping bag comes in handy. You can bundle inside and keep warm even as frost coats your lawn, talking late into the night with your scarecrow. I’d recommend reading my blog post from last July (“Building a Charm to Ward Off Visions of the Beyond”) to prevent any nightmares that may occur from sleeping near the scarecrow.
Treasure these conversations you’ll have with him, as you only have three nights. Scarecrows are nocturnal, so you won’t be able to converse with him during the day. While it’s tempting to record your talks with your scarecrow, they will not show up on audio or video.
Step 6: Saying goodbye
Those three nights will feel like three minutes. As the final night winds down, your scarecrow won’t know—and shouldn’t know—that the end has arrived. When the sun comes up and he drifts off, pull the vertical stake from the earth and place the scarecrow on the ground. Take the third six-foot stake and drive it through the center of the circle on his “face”. Do this firmly and quickly, without hesitation. It is extremely, extremely important that you carry out this last step before the sun sets. You must not allow the scarecrow to wake after the third night. You can always build a scarecrow again next year. At least I hope you can.
And I hope this guide helps you create a scarecrow that keeps pests away while blending nicely with your fall decor. Tag me on Instagram with your finished products, and be sure to sound off in the comments!
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Tom Coombe is a freelance journalist and horror writer whose stories have appeared in the Cemetery Gates Society, Hellhound Magazine and on the Haunting Season podcast. He lives in Pennsylvania with his girlfriend and their cat. You can find him at tomcoombe.com or on Twitter at @Calmtomb.
This is delightful!